I did it. Today I went on my first outdoor run and it was fucking hard. While it was one of the most challenging forms of exercise that I have done in a long time, it was also one of the best things I have done for myself in a long time.
I decided to use the infamous Couch to 5K app that I have heard a bunch of other people talk about. I get it. The app is pretty awesome as it gets you off the couch and up to a 5k run in 8 weeks. Each week hosts 3 different runs which alternate between running and walking. It was honestly a really effective tool that allowed me to actually make it through the 30 minute workout.
I want to write out this well thought out dialogue about how the run went, what it felt like during the 30 minutes, and how I feel now that I am home and showered. However, I am pretty hangry and feel unable to properly articulate my thoughts. Instead, I am going to give you a general idea of what the experience was like:
First, I feel really fucking proud of myself. I am proud for going on the run at all and for making it through the full workout. I felt a lot of anxiety all day and actually put off the run for most of the day, fearful of putting myself out there. While I know how much running can improve mental health, the preparation of getting my feet onto the pavement almost tail spinned me right into a panic attack. I could not stop thinking about people seeing me while I attempted to drag my ass around the neighborhood. I thought about how I was sure I would have to skip some of the 60 second running sessions because as I have mentioned before, I cannot breathe when I run. I thought about being hot, having to pee, needing water, needing tissues (this may sound weird, but as I have established - I am not normal. My nose runs a lot when I run and tissues are a safeguard against me running down the block with snot hanging off me.) I considered pretty much any and every reason why I should not go on the run today. Alas, I went and it was magical.
I didn’t skip one running session. Some went slower than others and I mentally cursed through the last two sessions, but I got through them all and feel pretty good about it.
Ignoring the people that I was worried about seeing before the run was easier than I expected. I saw a lot of people outside and kept moving, putting their faces behind me. I don't like being the center of attention and having people focus on me (should be fun walking down the aisle at my wedding…), but the great thing about running is that you are too focused on your next breath, your pace, and not falling onto your face to care too much about the other people around you. Also, by the time you feel the pressure of their looks in your direction, you have already run past them so it’s easy to let it go.
My lungs burned - like really burned, deep in my chest. I know I have a lot to learn when it comes to breathing techniques and running. I also know that as I continue to lose weight, the breathing will improve, but good lawd did my lungs burn. Throughout the run I found myself wanting to cough (maybe making room for air??) and even into the rest of the night, I could feel the sting within my chest. Again, this really just proves my point about good runners being from another planet where lungs are not part of their genetic makeup.
I went a lot farther a lot faster than I thought I would. I anticipated that it would take me about half of my allotted 30 minutes to get to the one end of my development. It took me 5 minutes. This surprised me and encouraged me that what my brain is telling me I am capable of isn’t always correct. I even looped back towards my house sooner than I needed to and had to run another loop around the block to complete the 30 minute session. This made me realize that I have some exploring to do when it comes to creating a route for my runs and that I should always push beyond what my brain tells me I can.
Running downhill is the MOST fun. I recently read Bella Mackie’s book “Jog On” which is amazing and you should buy it. In the book she shares a conversation with a fellow runner where they compare running downhill to feeling like you are flying. Reading this was one thing, but experiencing it was way better. They weren’t wrong. Running down a hill will immediately trick your brain into thinking that you - on your first outdoor run ever - could probably take Usain Bolt on in the 100 meter relay. This is probably the most untrue statement ever thought, but the high from running downhill is that intoxicating! The ease that you feel each time your foot hits the pavement on a decline makes you feel light and truly like you are flying at an unimaginable speed. This adrenaline gives you a spike of energy during the run and I highly recommend adding a downhill road into the end of your route (if possible) for this very reason.
Running, like in all other forms of exercise that I do, my face gets embarrassingly red. However, when I run, my face apparently gets redder than the red wedding in Season 3 of Game of Thrones. I know that this metaphor is not an exaggeration because Aaron’s face when he looked at me as I walked in the door along with his “Are you okay?” comment, made me know that it’s true.
Overall my first outdoor run was really fucking hard, but also really amazing. I feel so good and accomplished since having done it. I had such a rush of energy when I came home that Aaron practically pushed me into the shower so that I would stop talking his ear off about the experience. Compared to the running I have done on our home treadmill, I much prefer running outside. It is a very different experience and one worth trying. I found myself less worried about time and it was nice to be able to create my own pace versus the pace that is set and held on a treadmill. There is also something to be said about being one with nature (that’s the phrase people use, right?). It was nice to be able to breathe in the Spring air and feel the breeze on the sweat pouring down my face. Hot tip: do not run amidst sunset like I did. The sun, while lovely, was beating down on me which only intensified the already overheating that was happening on the inside of my body. Next time, I will wait until the sun sets more or head out in the early morning before the sun can torture me.
Oh, and the best part of the run was getting to see a lot of cute dogs which made the experience worth every drip of sweat so overall… a great day!
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